Relationship is a kind of complicated mess. Most of time, people cannot tell what's the real thing they want to do. There's a sort of attitude towards this aspect--being fickle-minded. Is it true that real need will be recognized through series loss?

This world is a colorful sea, temptation is unavoidable.So fishes swimming in are lucky to confront, to meet, to accept any attraction.

Here, I just want to say, that any fish who wants to get sth. from this sea, he must fight, fight for what he needs, and fight for what he doesn't need.

Human is a kind of stupid animal in affection. Some of them ,maybe a considerable number of them, would take other's feeling or attitude quite serious, but ignored what himsself really need. What does this mean? Well. answer won't be so explicite, I'm afraid. People who wants an exact approach towards love shouldn't expect tpp much, coz' u've alreay had some, maybe enough. So , never care too much what's unavailable unexpectedly. There's  a secure way to treat this,that's, consider every kind of loss expectable, gain unexpeted. And u will feel much better!~

                                                                              ---From a typical pessimistic wanderer

Today, when I was told by facts that it was only me who didn't pass the number entering test, I fell into deep sprrow and depression. Before, I 'd been thinking that there must be somebady who would failed with me, there must be! But this afternoon, after the paper test, I had to accept this fact, yeah, it was me, only me, left me, failed this number test.

Well, what should I say to this result? The test had been held for twice, thie only purpose (everybody knows) was to let all of us pass. But, I didn't make my best showing, I lost this game!

I know, it was all my own fault, it was due to my laziness. I didn't spent enough time for practise, and didn't listen to others' advice(use the correct method to do it). Now, this time, I got this lesson, and I should learn from this serious lesson!

People often said that the test wasn't that important, but, this time, I have to consider it subjuctively important to me. Cause' it's so shameful! How can I fall like this!! I should be excellent!!!

Ok, now, I know I should cheer up to walk forward, it's no use to think about the bad result, cause' I has happened. All I need to do is to work harder and harder, study diligently.

This is life, yeah, not always peaceful. This little lesson, I hope it is a helper to make me alert from now on, not a weapon to hurt me from inside.

Come on, Angela, you can make it!

Last night, a painful call from a little dog reminded me of my loved dog zz. I love zz so much that until now I still cannot forget it's loyalness, lovelyness,and smartness. Every time I think of her, my tears can help falling down. I daren't see any pics of her, and her babies.

I swear I won't raise pets anymore. cause' I don't want to see them leave, die. It's a deep feeling of sorrow and pain!

zz, I love you, may you have real happieness in heaven.

Left this city, now, somtime, would think of...... Too much memory, to forget

I thought I would easily get rid of  all those things, later, I found it was, it is so hard.

Listening to all these same old songs, but the same old person had left.

I did admit that I love these songs, but I daren't listen to them.

I think I've been looking for the rainbow that I could walk on.Now, I think I've found another rainbow instead.

This rainbow is about to shine from another angle.

True love, who can tell?

Those who had experienced much pain in love?

Those who had much sweetness?

Maybe neither,

once you are in love, you are to get drunk, get confused.

So never try to make clear everything, it's no good.

 

Today, the salary is down. Firstly, seeing the salary sheet, I was so happy, cause' the Number had increased to double. Then, I thanked god and my unit from my heart, and even decided working for CCB for most of my career .

I couldn't help checking my salary account , as soon as I was off, I went to the ATM, check the detail list, Debit 1515, Yes! got it! That's my first normal salary. Then I withdrew 500, which was planned to give my parents during the course, and went home, with very very happy smile.

Back home, I hide the News, ready to make announcement after my brother come back.

----Finally, dinner was finished. I proudly pulled out 500, to my mother. Mother was as happy as last time I gave 300. But after my father knew that I had got 1515 salary, he unexpectedly asked me to contribute 1000!!

 Nearly cried, I was standing beside!

As far as I know, most of my friends give nearly 1/4 salary to their family. I've contribute 1/3, but was not satisfied.!

I don't know why my father would become so strict to me. Did he feel that I was leaviing this family, and now tried to get as much as possible from me?

In fact, I won't care giving how much to family, if necessary, I could contribute all.

Maybe, tonight, it was just because that father didn't completely, throughly understand my needs.

Well that's the vexation of a grown child!

Got moved by you

Took your hands

Saw the last beautiful flame

Heart jumped for you

Then,

Finally,

Found out,

We were, we had been each other's supporting role

Leave this place

And forget everything

Forget you

from the buttom of my heart

Forever,forever

 

Meet Appreciation

 

These days, I 've been awake at midnight, turning round and round, couldn't get to sleep...

I believe that people who cannot get to sleep must have sth that bothers. So do I. I cannot tell clearly in detail what I am worrying about or thinking about. All the problems seemed so complicated, just like puzzles!

The biggest problem rencently is A's problem. Actually, his obligation to get the Green card bothers me a lot, what's more, and what's worse, he told me that he was so unsure wether he could graduate this year, due to that damned last exam!!!

I don't know how that come, but there's a strong idea in my mind--I influenced him. The things reated  are so many, including that his parents' approval to our relationship, and my occupating his time on chatting on line~~. The former reason reflects, he started to become lazy, lack of willpower and motivity; while the later one reflects, he loves me so much that he just want to be with me, regardless what cost.

...Last night, my held our pic to my chest, where is closer to my heart, dreaming about him widely... The scenes flashed by like movie, the time we spent togethter, the dreams we dreamed together, the sweetness we tasted together...

My heart hurts~~ like usual, through to my palms...

Honey, you used to take my hands by pinching my palms, and you said it seem that you had seized my heart. And now I could tell you, that, You've seized my heart firmly, everytime I think of you, my palms hurts!...I just want to see you as soon as possible~~!

It is said that women are insane when they are in love. Nika thinks, it's quite true, abso-fucking-lutely true.Nika is a standard  perpect girl in most people's( men & women) eyes. She has been considered finding a common guy who doesn't seem match her in some way or ways. In most cases, she didn't know why she would be in love with that guy, even doubted with whether she loves him. It seems, sometimes stupid questions, but to her, it's not. Female friends around her, it seems that most of them are quite bright, chose the best for their own, and they could always tell her considerable reasons for loving their sweethearts."Should I choose the one I love, or the one loves me?" Thoudsands of times, she's been asking herself such a questions. There's one thing she can be sure, clearly, that's her guy loves her deeply, and he's eager to have her for the whole life, regardless what happens. And, there's another thing she's half sure, that's she does love anther guy,who she's never paid so much love and care on actively, and with heart and soul.She, and the " another guy", in fact, know each other very well. including character,hobbies, dreams ect. of each other , and the cruel fact that they are impossible!! How many time she's been wildly wishing that they do start that love, but it just has been  unrealistic dreams!! Thus, she returned to her guy, her fiance if expectively.But,sometimes , she did wander out of her sweetheart's door,hesitating--"Could he finally be my ideal husband, the one I could always rely on and be with through my life???"

Well, once I said to myself , that never could be any  Chinese in this blog, the reason why I built this blog is to keep my English and French.But really, sometimes, it sucks, when I couldn't express myself thoroughly. What's more,how could this campus network be so damned!! Stopped me from pouring my bullshit time to time, depressed me!

Afterall. I'm leaving here, staying away from this Snail Speed network, this place , where might should not for me to be though!~

Cool....the weath is getting hot, but people's hearts can feel cool~. For what?  For fate!

"Evertbody has his own story", it's damnedly true!

At this moment, in many places, many confused fishes are still struggling for themselves in the illimitable sea. Seeking for their direction, their faith, their weapon, and the strength to escape.

Some of them are always  brave enough to fight for their benefits, but some are even scared to face a small fire. sheep, they are sheep, should learn to be a wolf  sometimes.

Anyway. "every road leads to rome". Here, I sincerely prey for those who had did great contribution to others, who had always been ready to help others, I wish all of you could find out your position finally. and stand for yourselves. Never be discouraged or frustrated. Victory is waiting for you and your firm belief!!

 

Thank you for reading my pointless bullshit! Hope you can get what's good for you~!

Today is Mother's day,I 'd like t express my sincere thankfulness to my lovely, honorable Mama. Mama,are you happy today? Your children love you.

Due to the damned campus internet, my space and Msn were stagnant,even locked, so I lost contact with all you, my dear dear dear friends!! I miss you all so!! And today, now, finally, I'm back to join you!! Overjoyed I am.

 

Reading the messages left by my dear friends, I feel deeply being cared and concerned. Because I didn't make any public anouncement about my blog, but after all, I got warmhearted regard.

 

           I'm dying to thank all of you , my dear friends, I love you, I miss all the moments being with you!!

 

 

Ce matin, nous ,cinq ,oh, non, ajoute le professeur,six personnes ont vu un film, servante espagnole . c'est une histoire sur une femme espagnole et sa fille avec une famille américaine aux

Hearing this backgroud music, what will you think of ? How do you feel? I remember that this song was recommended by my dear teacher Dorothy yuan. Every time I listen to this long, I firstly think of my parents,then other people who love me and support me.

My dear Mum and Dad, I DO know that there will never be enough words to express my appreciation to you. 23 years,you have  raised me...and now, I can proudly tell you, that your daughter, has grown up ,she 's about to do her best to give her sincerest filial piety to you, you could have a rest from now on....YOU RAISE ME UP, my dear DAD and MUM,  thank you,I love you!!

 

"when I am down, so my soul, so weary...." what a down feeling, but every time when I came across this kind of hard time, I was helped out......by my dear friends. I don't think I have many good friends,but each one of them is considered the most faithful and reliable to me! My dear friends, thank you for always  being there for me when I need. Yeah, "YOU RAISE ME UP, to more than I can be......",  Love you!

 

 

    There was one more horrible thing I have to do in the very very near future.....go to the dentist!!

    I think I would force myself to forget ALL about it.

    That's what, self-cheating, that I very very often do....

    Just like a little gilr hasn't grown up, fearing to go to the Doctor's....

 

    Today, what did I do?? Yeah,the main thing I consider it as a SERIOUS DUTY is -- to go shopping with my dear dorm mate . Well, we didn't go far,just went aroud the Business center in the school. It was no doubt that there were many many GOOD THINGS in---esp. nice clothes!

I chose many styles for my dorm mate and she fianlly seemed to make decision. But our leave ended the shopping---The blouse had sth wrong with the decoration, and I felt hungry...:)

    Returning to the dorm, the first thing stroke me was  Fish's encounter in zhuhai. She lost over 100 yuan and his honey lost his cellphone...Oh, what an awful trip! I believed that Fish would never go to that horrible place any more.

    The third thing that really bothered me is my  unhappy phone talk with my sweetheart. I swore that I didn't mean to be so fastidious, but I just couldn't help...

    Honey, Please,forgive me.Maybe it was all because of my period which made me annoyed.

    well, today, nothing special, that's all...

Well, this morning, it seems that everybody 's playing hide-and-seek--both the Msn and the OICQ's list are lonely! Maybe,yeah,it's because it's April fool's day!who's gonna be on so early rather than still hiding in bed is to be called FOOL...like me..

 

Oh, what an awful day!! Aithough the day has just started,but it seems o have undesirable prediction...

 

what? Because those UGLY things last night through out the dawn?? Shit!! Fucking guys! I had had eough, go away !! And never come up to disturb!!! I hate that now!!

 

Plans PLANSSSSS, I should say....it's what I have to make...

 

what a .....dull stressful and lazy moment!

 

wow.....How piquant to flood my word likes this!! haha.....

 

HAPPY  HAPPY

 I wanna be happy!!!

Ce soir,c'est tres bon!!!!! J'aime beaucoup!

It had been  last night that I really want to mark down my complex feelings! Due to not feeling well after a oatmeal, I had to lie in the bed.

Firstly, I'd like to talk about how I felt last night. Knowing that two of my classmate had joined the Singapore Airline company, my heart jumped anxiousely. They all can get 3000~4000/mon, and the package of welfare is so gooood!!! The most attrative is the work ,dealing with foreign customers in ENGLISH! That's what I had been expected since middle school.How I admire them!

Being anxiouse about that, I calmly look back to myself, and my job.Yeah, Once, I was admired, and maybe even now and in the future, I am and will be admired. But still, I feel a little bit pitty for myself. Perhaps, I've been too confident about my English proficiency and other integrated abilities, so I still feel reluctant to accept the job . There was one thing I had been doing recently, that self-comforting and encouraging .I said to myself, that, this job is the most suitable avaiable, it will help me a lot in future; English is just a tool ,which is mastered by many nowadays; I should learn more, FINANCE, for example, maybe, I can suceed in finacial field......But, all depend on how diligent I can be!

Secondly.I'd like to talk about sth that's in deep sorrow. That's my classmate's losing her mother. Yesterday morning, I was told by Ele that X's mother was dead ,and couldn't come to the class. I was shocked , no words, sitting still and looking at him, seeking for an alternative sayng.But no other answers I could find, IT WAS TRUE.Well,as far as I am concerned, X has been living in a single-parent-family since she was in high school. And now, the family is so lonely and empty! THIS, lead me to miss my family, my love to my parents, my brother. my sweetheart and his parents....all the people who love and care about me.

Here, I have a wish--- May all the good fortune be with good sorts forever!!